Easter

Today is supposed to be a day of new life.
I should tell him today.  We could start  anew.  What about my children? Would he love them the same if there were a chance they were not his? Am I really doing this for them or am I selfish? I don't even know any more... I need direction

Month

That's how long it's been since I've posted, but it's also how much longer I have to go.  Well I'm so huge right now that I'm not 'going' anywhere, but it's the time left before I find out whether I've ruined my life or not.  I'm sorry anyone who has gotten curious about me, but I feel like it's been a month since I've had a moment alone.  I've had countless people over to "help" a baby shower... and I've been sentenced to bedrest. I haven't asked anyone about the whole Erin predicament, because I don't think I can handle it.  I killed my sister, and the only way I can live with the guilt is by keeping this shameful secret.
Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about what I should do if the worst were to happen, and here are the answers I've come up with:
1. Pretend I have some ancient black ancestor
2. Play Dumb
3. Beg for forgiveness
or the unthinkable
4. play the rape card

I couldn't lie to my darling David... I guess forgiveness it is if the worst should happen.  Should I tell him now?  He can't kick out an 8 months pregnant wife can he? ... can he? I'm so terrified... so confused... someone tell me what to do